Picture this: There was a rattrap set up in a farmhouse out in the country. The chickens clucked, the pigs oinked, and the cows mooed, for the rattrap suddenly snaps shut. The farmer’s wife hurries to the barn to investigate the noise. However, instead of a rat, the wife finds a snake caught in the trap. The snake, in retaliation, bites the farmer’s wife, and later on she becomes very ill. Craving chicken noodle soup, she wrung the chicken neck to make soup. The neighbors stay with the farmer’s wife and mend her injury, so the farmer slaughtered the pig to feed his neighbors. The farmer’s wife eventually dies from the snakebite, and at the funeral, they butcher the cow to feed. The moral of the story is, when there is a sudden attack in the farmhouse, you better know that it affects all of its members.
My sisters, the rattrap has snapped in this ark that we call sisterhood. We are women fully committed to our Christian principles. Yet through neglect, we have poisoned our own farm. In the challenges and changing tides of life, the concept of true sisterhood has eroded away. We all need to relearn what sisterhood is about.
Ladies, in order to get back to our roots, I turn you to the story of two sisters.
“Now as they went on their way, Jesus’ entered a village; And a woman named Martha him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet, and listened to his teachings. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she went up to him and said, Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her. “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10: 38- 42
Somewhere along the journey between land and sands, we have lost our focus. Our vision has become narrow, our direction has grown distorted, and our sensitivity has become de-censored. We have become jaded and our love for others has become selective. As a result, we find more value in flaunting another sister’s faults, and putting other women down, than in empowering and fortifying our faith together in our fight.
This is exactly what Martha did to Mary. Instead of going about her business, she took the opportunity to embarrass and guilt her sister in front of Jesus Christ. But why is Martha so angry? Perhaps she felt as though Jesus does not appreciate her. Perhaps she felt insecure, and believed she was not celebrated nor educated enough to sit at the feet of Jesus.
We all in some way can relate to Martha’s disposition. At one time or another, we have become jealous or alienated from our fellow sisters. At times, we felt that we were sitting on the outside, for we weren’t accepted into the inner circle or a clique that a group of girls made. Or maybe we worked hard on a project and did not receive as much praise or appreciation as we expected, but our fellow sisters received all of the credit. It is easy to become resentful and harp on our own insecurities. It is easier to compare ourselves or our work to others. This is why we begin to lash out; we spread venom to our sisters without realizing that we have damaged our own reputations in the process.
Do not get so caught up in your performance, your prestige, the glimmer and the glam, that you will do whatever it takes to boost your own confidence. Because no matter what you do, no matter how much venom your spread or how many women you take down for your own benefit, there is always some one that you will see as “better”. There is always someone prettier, younger, taller, more athletic, more talented, and with more stuff, that can do what you do. Not only that, but the destructive nature of putting other down will cause a downfall, and the downfall will ALWAYS affect you. Remember, the rattrap affects everyone in the farm, even the attacker. While the snake bites causes all of the damage, at the end of the day, the snake is still trapped and in pain. You will feel no better in the long term by taking others down, and you will not solve your pain, your jealousy, or your insecurities by hurting others, especially your sisters.
In order to check ourselves, and avoid the path of destruction, we must first continue to focus on our own, individual purpose, while also focusing on our main purpose communally as Christian sisters: to serve God selflessly. It is important to note that just because the role of one sister may be more prevalent in a particular season, does not mean that your sister is more valuable in the eyes of God. This is shown in the story of Martha and Mary; they are two sisters, who embraced two different characteristics, two callings, two gifts, two responsibilities, and two destinations. Yet, the possessed the same Savior, and have the same purpose to serve Him; they just serve in different ways.
Martha, with too much on her mind, was distracted by her overwhelming individual self- consciousness. She believed that service could only be demonstrated on her terms of being active. We see this very clearly in the text, when Martha is disgusted with Mary’s behavior and dares to even demand Jesus to direct her to help. Yet, she fails to realize that there is still power and service in her presence. Mary had this concept figured out, and served Jesus by being present with him, sitting at his feet. But you do not need to be directly at the feet of Jesus, in first place, or in the front of the line to be serving God’s purpose. Everyone has a role to play, and your commitment to that role, even if it is just showing up, is an act of service. Your time is a gift in itself.
Service in its simple form is giving your time selflessly to another: feeding the hungry, building houses, providing jobs and opportunities to others, or educating individuals and ourselves. It is not reliant upon what you are doing, but rather how you are doing it, and who you are serving. The truth of the matter is, there is no point in doing something just to be able to say that we did it. It then becomes a mechanical and manufactured process of action, instead of to the focused, invigorated, and miraculous nature of giving. My sisters, the service that we must provide to each other is that of empowerment; whether mentally, emotionally and spiritually. By selflessly giving empowerment to our sisters, we in turn give ourselves to God.
We must also note that there is much to learn from the actions (or more importantly, the non-actions) of Mary. Notice that even when Martha berated her, Mary never fought back, never taunted, and never rejected her. She didn’t feel the need to defend herself. Instead, she remained still, supporting and loving Martha regardless of her actions. In not fighting back, she prevented the poison from spreading in the farmhouse.it This goes to show that you do not always have to speak to have a voice; you do not need to fight back in order to claim power. The power, and thus the empowerment, comes from our love, support, and service of God and one another.
As a sisterhood, the absolute BEST thing that we can do is to give each other our time, support, and openness, even in the face of hate. So today, make this pledge to yourself. I pledge to support my sister whether I like her or not. I pledge to help refrain my sisters from saying or doing harm to anyone, including herself. I will be careful in my criticism of others. I will communicate my feelings in a sisterly manner, being sensitive to the needs of others. I will show respect to my sisters regardless of their individual skills and I will be patient with the slow process of growth, both in others and myself. By clearing the air, we can start fumigating the farmhouse, and begin opening our lives to serve God. For when we serve God, we love Him, our sisters, and ourselves in the process. 